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My Paramour, yes my paramours because I am married But my spouse does not fulfill at all, so my boy friend 20 Years older than me is whom indeed is getting bigger me all over intercourse, BERA, Mexico, April 2004 Needy utter of passion wanting someone Anyone hold me sense me I lie awake here my mind drifting leisurely The velvet of a tongue runs over my naked self taunting here and there, touching not only my skin but my soul. Sensations rush thru me ones so pleasurable Yet so close to anguish. It fulfills me but for a moment only. What happens when it's gone? This Moment? Will I once again be alone in darkness in my own self-pity? The sensations escalate higher and higher. Pleasure or pain? It's hard to decipher. Palms everywhere inwards and out. Hard and soft, Quick and, slow... am I fulfilled or empty? It’s all the same Our voices get larger louder or is it just mine? Rapture consumes me. An explosion... Then muffle, as I am once again alone my phantom paramour gone, perceiving empty bitterly I smile For a moment I had it, The thing they call love, even eagerness Yes for a moment I had it, a ejaculation, an end!